Friendship

Bible Passage: 2 Timothy 4:9-16

The Christian life was never supposed to be lived alone. Even Jesus, as the Son of God in the flesh, gathered to himself a group of people to be with him and to share in his ministry with him. In John 15 Jesus calls those disciples friends. Living as disciples is something best done with other people, and in this sermon we explore friendship as a crucial part of the Christian life. To do so we look at some verses from the final chapter of 2 Timothy. This is Paul’s final letter, and it is also his tenderest and most personal. In these closing remarks, Paul discusses his own needs with his friend Timothy, as well as vulnerably sharing about how things have gone in some of his other friendship relationships.

Our Need For Friendship (v9, 21): The first point to draw from these verses is a simple one: we need our friends. When Paul writes this letter he is under house arrest, and he is feeling the pangs of loneliness. In both verse 9 and verse 21, Paul urges Timothy to come and be with him. Whilst Paul does give some practical instructions in v13, what he wants is way more than a delivery of his possessions. He wants the company of his close friend. Loneliness is something that many people experience, and this can be true for both those who are single and those who are married. Like Paul, it is important to recognise our own need for fellowship and companionship and proactively seek out time with friends. As part of a believing community, it is also good to keep an eye out for one another relationally and reach out for those who we know are on their own to build friendships with them.

Friendships and Disappointments (v10, 14, 16): Through these verses, Paul is honest about the disappointments he has experienced at the hands of friends. Demas has walked away from Paul when things got hard. Alexander has done damage to him, and when he expected his friends to rally around him in his defence nobody came. Disappointments are part of the reality of friendship and will be something that many of those listening to the sermon will have experienced. Sometimes being let down or hurt in friendship can even cause people to put defences up and become reluctant to pursue further friendship relationships. Addressing this honestly, and seeing how Paul pushed through regardless to continue seeking friendships, is an important thing for any who have experienced such hurt from their friends.

Friendship and Forgiveness (v11): In verse 11, Paul asks Timothy to fetch Mark and bring him along, highlighting how helpful Mark has become. Earlier in the story (Acts 15:38) there had been a disagreement between Paul and Mark, with Mark having deserted the team and Paul not wanting to allow him to rejoin them. Here though, a number of years later, Paul is talking up the importance of Mark. This links to the previous point about disappointment and shows that disappointment need not necessarily mark the end of friendship. Where possible, it is a good thing to work through the differences we have and ways we let one another down and be quick to forgive one another. Obviously in situations of abuse or serious broken trust then reconciliation may not always be possible or appropriate, but in many other cases a friendship can grow deeper and stronger by working through disagreements and being reconciled.

Friendship in the Ordinary (v13): This is quite an unusual verse in just how mundane it is, speaking about a cloak and scrolls and parchments. Paul is writing to his friend and talking about the normal things of everyday life. There is power in this, because sometimes Christians can spiritualise friendships by thinking in terms of ‘accountability partners’ or ‘prayer buddies’. It is a good thing to have friends we can talk to about the challenges of following Jesus, and pray with about what is going on in life, but we can put a lot of pressure on our friendships when we  make these things the central focus. Paul shows us here that friendship also includes the much more ordinary things of life like sharing errands and helping each other out in practical ways.

Watching out for Our Friends (v14-15): In this final point, we see Paul warning Timothy to be on his guard against Alexander. Friendship includes watching the back of our friends, and that is what Paul is doing here. Whether the danger comes from a person who is out to do harm, a bad habit or spiritual drift, keeping an eye out for our friends and being ready to warn them of danger is important. This does not of course mean defending our friends uncritically or putting loyalty ahead of truth, but it does mean having a genuine eye for their best interests and being ready to use our words to help guard them from danger.

Potential Applications:

• One of the challenges many face around friendship is passivity: desiring close relationships but waiting for somebody else to initiate them. Challenge people to reach out to somebody and initiate spending some time with them to build friendships.
• The point around. friendship and disappointment may be quite raw for some people present. You could offer to pray with those who are carrying pains around this issue.
• Perhaps you could organise some social/mingling style events to help people get to know one another and build some deeper friendships with each other.