Sex and Relationships

Bible Passage: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 (and others)

For many people, the area of sex and relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of living as a disciple of Jesus. The Bible holds both marriage and singleness in high regard, and both can be lived out in a way that points to the gospel and gives glory to God. For those who are married, this looks like faithful commitment to their spouse, and the Bible consistently frames sexual intimacy is a gift that is designed to belong within the covenant commitment of marriage. For those who are single, this looks like making the most of the opportunities of singleness for the kingdom of God, and not engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage. This ethic is quite different to how things are often approached outside the church, and this sermon explores why the Bible teaches what it does and how we can live this out.

It should also be clearly noted that a lot of what is spoken of in this sermon is in the context of those who are disciples of Jesus. The Bible is clear in 1 Corinthians 5:9-12 that the church has no place judging the practices of outsiders in this matter (and frankly, many people have felt judged by Christians about this topic). Instead, the focus is on how disciples live this out.

Sex, Relationships and God’s Big Picture: To understand where sex fits in God’s big plan, we need to go right beck to the start and look at how God made the world. In Genesis 1, we see God creating complementary pairs that come together and bring life. Examples of this include the heavens and the earth, the waters and above the land below, and the maleness and femaleness of the animals, fish and birds he has made. But by 2:18-20, we see a problem in the case of Adam. Something is ‘not good’ since Adam is alone without a suitable partner. In the verses that follow we see that the partner that is given to Adam is a human woman named Eve, and they are able to come together as a life-giving complementary pair. We see here that human sexuality is given in this creation context, is between one man and one woman, and is expressed through them ‘leaving’ and ‘cleaving’ in the covenant of marriage. It is important to be careful with the application of this point. It would be wrong to suggest that singleness goes against the creation design (though aloneness certainly does), and we should also take care not to imply that a marriage union that hasn’t (or can’t) bring forth children is not valid. The point here is not to make a critique of a particular individual or couple’s circumstances, but rather to understand how sex and marriage fit within the big story of the Bible.

Marriage, Singleness and the Gospel: The Genesis 2 context is brought up in several places in the New Testament that teach on marriage, singleness and sex in the Christian life. One of these places is Ephesians 5:31-32. It is a passage that teaches husbands and wives how to love and submit to each other, and does so by drawing a parallel between a marriage union and the relationship between Christ and the church. In marriage, sex expresses the giving of oneself to the other, the coming together in union and the permanence of the covenant relationship. Outside of that covenant context, sex no longer reflects the same picture of covenant love that marriage is meant to display. Understanding the reason for the Bible’s sexual ethic in these terms is good news for both those who are married and those who are not, because it shows that sex is not the ultimate end but points to something bigger and more glorious than itself: the union with Christ that we are all invited into.

Sex, Worship and the Life of the Disciple: In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul teaches the church in Corinth what it looks like to live as disciples in this area. In verse 9-11, we see two things that set a framework for how we think about our own story in this regard. Firstly we see in verses 9-10 that many of us have different brokenness and backgrounds when it comes to this area, and that those backgrounds don’t disqualify us from the gospel. Secondly, in verse 11 we see how the gospel has brought about change. We should be clear that this change does not make desires or temptation go away, but it does bring us cleansing and forgiveness for what we may have done that has caused us to feel shame or guilt, as well as spiritual power to resist the temptations that we face. In the remainder of the passage, Paul does something of a ‘lightning round’ engaging with a few of the things the Corinthians have been saying about the subject:

• “I have the right to do anything” – this gets to the heart of the objection that people are free to make their own choices (and perhaps a so-called ‘Christian’ version, suggesting that because we are under grace it doesn’t matter what we do. But Paul’s rebuttal shows that just because we can do something it doesn’t mean we should, and especially in this area where we can easily be mastered (e.g. by a porn addiction or a pattern of behaviour). ‘Should I’ is an important question to ask alongside ‘can I’.
• “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” – this objection suggests that sex is just a biological urge and is something we are made for. But Paul shows this is not correct theologically. Our bodies are made for the Lord and are to be used to honour him. In sex a union is created with that person, and as we already have a union with Jesus he would be implicated in this act.
• “It doesn’t do any harm” – this objection is a bit more implicit, but the answer is strong in verse 18: flee from sexual immorality! This is more than just ‘resist’ and it means do what it takes to not put yourself in the position to give in to temptation. The reason given is that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and should be treated with appropriate reverence and holiness.
• “It’s My Body” – this is at the heart of a lot of the worldly approach to sex, but for the believer it is not strictly true. We were bought at a price, and so God has a claim on everything about us, including our bodies. The point about a price being paid is hugely encouraging for anyone whose sexual history doesn’t match up to what we have been talking about. He sees us and chose to pay the price to ensure there is grace for us.

Potential Applications:

• The application for this sermon needs to be handled gently and with care. It will challenge many people in a sensitive and personal way, and engage with some areas of brokenness and abuse for some. Be careful not to shame people in how you talk.
• It can be helpful to have people on hand who are ready to pray with people and follow up with them if they want to talk about this more, but make sure you introduce this in a non-pressuring way – not everybody will feel comfortable chatting these issues through with someone they don’t know well.
• The best way to overcome one desire is to replace it with another one. Cast a vision of Christ that can captivate people’s hearts in such a way that living for him in this area feels attractive and desirable.